Query Critique #2: And ConCon is Only a Month Away!

Welcome back, readers! We return to the query critique today with this submission; my comments appear in brackets in blue. 

Dear Barbara,

As a desk jockey sitting in front of the computer or in meetings all day, are you concerned about the impact of all that sitting? Are you aware of the recent studies linking sitting to an increased risk for diabetes and heart disease?  I am too. When I transitioned from being an active classroom teacher to work-from-home writer, I experienced a weight gain immediately. Because of my time flexibility, I joined a gym. However, even that may not mitigate the hours spent sitting at a desk. What about busy working mothers who find it next to impossible to squeeze time in for exercise before or after work? However, experts in workplace fitness have found ways to incorporate exercise into the typical office work day. Interested in knowing more? [I like this lead but it's a little long--I'd tighten it a bit; maybe focus on the first person anecdote and then talk about busy working mothers (the readers of this publication) in the next paragraph.] 

Two recent studies illustrate the staggering effects of a mostly sedentary lifestyle. An Australian study concluded that “an adult who spends an average of six hours a day watching TV over the course of a lifetime can expect to live 4.8 years fewer than a person who does not watch TV.” A 2012 report found that the average adult spend 50-70 percent of their lives sitting. This puts them at much increased risk for diabetes and cardiovascular disease, even if they exercise. [Explain the link between the last two sentences--it's not clear. And what is the increased risk? How much? Quantify, please. This info could also be worked into the lead instead, although I would focus on the second study, which specifically addresses the link between sitting and heart disease.] 

As fast as the scientific community reported the problems, researchers, businesses, and health practitioners responded. [I would continue with what the solutions are, and then talk about word length and working title in a bit.] My 1,500-word feature, “Taking a Stand for Workplace Fitness,” will examine the ingenious solutions to being tied to your chair during your workday. I will interview Dr. Cindy Wolff, Executive Director of the Center for Nutrition and Activity Promotion at Chico State University in California, about how she and her staff have incorporated under-desk exercise bicycles, stand-up phone calls, and walking meetings into her office’s routines [And? What's been the result? Increased productivity? Weight loss? Happier staff? What? Include.] I’ll talk to Marchfield Clinic, Wisconsin, executive assistant Pam Gotto about her experiences with an adjustable desk. She can sit or stand while she works, depending on the task and her energy level. [Again, tell us a little bit more about her experience.] I’ll also give first person reports of my attempts to incorporate these some of these techniques into my work day. I wrote this standing up. [I like this first-person anecdote here and would like to know more about how you're working while standing; again, I would include a line or two about how long you've been doing it, benefits, etc.] Dr. Wolff has agreed to offer photos from her office. A sidebar will illustrate various options for desk workouts, including desk/treadmill combinations. [I would rephrase this to say something like, "If you like, I can provide photos to accompany this story; a possible sidebar will illustrate..." I think the writer should also talk about how much these desk treadmills/bikes cost. How expensive are they? Can you build one yourself, etc?] 

As the author of six YA nonfiction books, I have ample experience explaining scientific and technical concepts to a non-technical audience. My editors at Rosen Publishing have complimented me on my professionalism and responsiveness. Clips from my books Top 10 Tips for Enjoying Success in School and Get Smart with Your Money: Internship Smarts are attached (yes, I can provide articles on those topics as well!) [Nice. The writer doesn't have typical clips, but she's made up for it and "dance with who brung her," so to speak to pump up her ISG.] I have been a working mom for over 25 years, always looking for ways to balance career, parenting, and health. All of us who sit for a living can benefit from knowledge of the detrimental effects of this lifestyle and practical ways to counteract the effects. [Good, though I would still like to see that magic language, "based on my personal experience, I believe I can bring a unique perspective to this subject" or something like that. Also tell me what section of the mag it belongs in to demonstrate familiarity with your target market. Finally, I think 1,500 words is a little long for this subject; I'd pitch it as a shorter piece, maybe 800-1000 words or so.] I look forward to your response to this timely and important topic.

[Readers, what do you think? Agree with my critique? I welcome your comments below.]  

Readers, do you do content marketing? Would you like to? Check out ASJA's ConCon conference here in Chicago November 7-8, 2013 at Columbia College. It's for writers who are new to this niche--and those who already do content marketing and want to make even more money doing so. I hope to see you there! 

And as usual, I remind you about my books which are invaluable to both newbie and experienced freelancers: Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets and Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, Second Edition. Prefer a print copy? Use the coupon code IMPROVISEPRESS (all caps,no spaces) for 20 percent off when you order directly through ImprovisePress.com. 

Query Critique #1: Feast on Truffles

Hi, gang! Thanks to those readers who submitted queries for the query critique; the first one is an travel-related pitch. It appears below, with my comments in blue: 

Dear Domini,

Thin verging on scrawny, with irregular cow-like black spots adorning his frail frame, the dog didn’t look much like a creature capable of bringing in thousands of dollars of merchandise per day. “I actually left my best dog at home,” our nature guide and truffle hunter explained. “You can’t do a staged hunt with her. She smells that I’ve already touched the truffles before burying them, and she’s not interested.” [Love this lead. Strong description and definitely catches my attention. I would like to know the name of the nature guide, though.]

In the foothills of the Apennine Mountains that connect Tuscany, Umbria, and Le Marche, truffles are big business. At the truffle exchange – like the diamond or stock exchange for these mysterious mycetes – fist-sized white truffles fetch $6,000 before being broken down and sold to restaurants at triple mark-up. [Nice details here; I'd like to know a little more about why the truffles are so in demand and expensive, for someone who's not that familiar with them.]

In a truffle-centric travel piece, I’ll follow these famous fungi from the first fruitful forage of the season to the wholesale marketplace to the aficionado’s plate. The hills of Le Marche are one of the few places in the world besides Alba in Piedmont where the precious white truffle grows. [Great detail to know.] Besides restaurants happy to shave another ounce or two of truffles on your risotto free of charge, [this clause reads a little awkward to me] [Mercatello sul Metauro, the nearest town, mixes the Renaissance and modern hospitality in a way you can no longer find in touristy Tuscany. [Good selling point for a magazine that covers travel--something new and different.] Noble families open up their families’ Renaissance palaces and network of social connections to visitors, the abbey produces an herb-based indigo dye for a local brand of jeans, and artisans hand-throw and -paint pottery using local 16th century techniques to create custom designs for modern homes. [Shows that the writer has done plenty of research but I feel like the story idea is losing a little focus. Is the story more about the truffles or the community?] 

I’m a freelance travel journalist with a degree in Italian culture who has worked for Italy Magazine and covered Italian travel topics for publications on three continents, including USA TODAY, Ambassador, International Living, and Destination I Do. [Nice ISG.] I have photos available to accompany the piece [Great but I'd say, "I can provide photos to accompany the piece," which implies she'll shoot them for the market, not just rely on what she has] and can include an "if you go" sidebar highlighting how to best reach this out-of-the-way destination, accommodations, restaurants, and local attractions. [nice.]

Would you be interested in “Feast on Truffles, Travel Back in Time in Le Marche” for The Globe and Mail? [Suggested word count? Mention of a recent story to show that she's familiar with the market?]

Best regards,

**Readers, I like this query very much. I think I would focus on the truffles aspect a bit more and possibly provide a few more details about the truffle hunting process, etc and how the truffle economy affects the local community, not just talk about the community itself--more of a truffle tie-in if you will. However, overall I think it's a very strong query with a good chance of selling. Readers, what do you think? 

Want to see queries that sold--and why? Check out one of my popular e-books, Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets or Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, Second Edition. Prefer a print copy? Use the coupon code IMPROVISEPRESS (all caps,no spaces) for 20 percent off when you order directly through ImprovisePress.com. 

From Crappy to Compelling: Write Better Queries (and Half-Off Offer Continues)

Welcome back, readers! Last post I talked about crappy queries masquerading as good ones. The good news is that pretty much any bad query can be transformed into one that results in an assignment. Here's a revised version of my original query from last post, with my comments in blue:  

Dear Megan:

A recent study published in The Lancet tracked a competitive runner who continued to train throughout her pregnancy. To ensure the safety of her babies (she delivered healthy twins), she wore a heart rate monitor to maintain a heart rate of 130-140 beats per minute. [First off, my lead includes a double whammy—the mention of the recent study gives me both a time peg and evidence of a trend. The Lancet is a major British medical journal (along the lines of The Journal of the American Medical Association or The New England Journal of Medicine). I don’t have to explain what it is because my editor works at a fitness magazine; otherwise, I’d include the phrase “a leading British medical journal.”]

Heart rate training is growing in popularity, not just for pregnant women, but for time-crunched exercisers seeking ways to work out more efficiently and safely. Using a heart rate monitor can make cardiovascular training more effective as it helps ensure that athletes work out as intensely (or as easily) as they are supposed to. Starting at $100, a heart rate monitor is an inexpensive investment that can be worth much more for women looking to improve their fitness. [In the second paragraph, I target the audience of my potential market much more effectively. While the study in question involved a pregnant woman, I immediately explain that heart rate monitors are growing in popularity, “not just for pregnant women, but for time-crunched exercisers seeking ways to work out more efficiently and safely.” Aha! That’s pretty much everyone who reads Fit, isn’t it? (And is there anyone who wants to work out less efficiently and safely? Probably not.) Note that I also mention the benefits of using heart rate monitors and point out their affordability. At the time, a heart rate monitor only cost about $100—most readers would be able to purchase one. That’s another selling point for this story.]

Interested in a story about the use of heart rate monitors to train more efficiently for your "exercise.sports.fitness" section or as a short feature? “Target Your Training: How a Heart Rate Monitor Can Make You Fitter” will give an overview of how these monitors can be used to maximize training. I’ll include advice from athletic trainers and female athletes who use monitors regularly about how to get the most from a heart monitor; a possible sidebar might include a list of some of the different models available. Although I estimate about 800 words for this story, that’s flexible depending on your needs. [I'm trying to make it easy for the editor to say "yes" to this pitch. I’ve come up with a working title which is a little long but gives an idea of what the piece will look like; I’ve told her the type of sources I plan to interview; and I’ve suggested an appropriate, service-oriented sidebar. I go on to estimate word count and then let her know that I’ve read the magazine by suggesting the department (“exercise.sports.fitness”) the story seems right for. I also briefly mention my writing background; because I had worked with her before, I don’t enclose clips.]

As you know, I’ve written for Fit before as well as for other magazines including Cosmopolitan, Shape, Good Housekeeping, Modern Bride, and BRIDE’S. I hope you’ll find this story appropriate for a future issue of Fit; let me know if you have any questions about it. Thank you for your time; I look forward to hearing from you soon. [While overall this query is strong, my ISG is still weak. Why? At the time, I’d been using a heart rate monitor during runs for several years—a fact that certainly makes me “uniquely qualified” to write about them. But it didn't occur to me to mention it in the query, even though I wound up using my experience as a first-person lead in the story itself.] 

Very truly yours,

Kelly James-Enger

**This pitch sold, and resulted in a $750 assignment; reslanted versions of this pitch resulted in another four assignments on the topic. What I want you to realize is that you can improve any query, no matter how rough the original is. So if you have a pitch that hasn't sold, maybe this is the time to dig it out, update it and rewrite it. It may turn a "dead duck" into a new assignment. 

Want to know more about queries--and how to write better ones that results in assignments--even if you're a brand-new freelancer? Post your questions here, and check out Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets or Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, Second Edition. For a limited time, you'll get half off both titles when you order directly through ImprovisePress.com and use the discount code CHICKENS.

Want more Work? Pump up your ISG

Occasionally I consult with freelance writers who want to take their career to the next level or would-be authors who need help moving from idea to published book. With the former, I always emphasize the importance of a compelling ISG, or I'm-So-Great, paragraph in their queries. Yet many writers overlook this essential query element or fail to write the best ISG they can. 

A strong query includes the following four parts: 

• The lead. It might be a startling statistic, a recent study result, a timely news event, or an anecdote. Its purpose is to capture the editor's attention and make her want to keep reading. 

• The "why-write-it" paragraph. This paragraph (or two, if you have a particularly detailed query) fleshes out the idea, demonstrating why the readers of the magazine will be interested in the topic. 

• The "nuts-and-bolts" paragraph. This is where you describe the finished piece. How long will it be? What type of sources (i.e., experts or "real people") do you plan to interview? What section of the publication will the story fit in? What's the working title? 

• And finally, the ISG. In your ISG, you highlight your relevant qualifications, including your writing experience and background with the subject matter. If you already have a slew of clips, your ISG will probably focus on your list of credentials. If you're a new writer, though, you want to focus on you do have to offer--your connection with the topic you want to write about. 

So, one of my current consulting clients is a freelancer who also happens to be a military spouse and mom. She used that unique background to pitch a story on how people can support the families of military personnel during the holidays to a market that's new to her. 

Her query sold, and now she has an "in" with a new market. As she gains experience, she won't have to pitch stories she has experience with--she'll have proven that she can research and write about anything. Starting out, however, she should focus on what she has to offer to get her foot in the door. 

Get the idea? When you lack clips, play up what you do have--namely, some kind of personal experience with or knowledge of the topic you're pitching. If you're pitching a major market where competition is fierce, I suggest you use the same strategy. The more you can set yourself apart from other writers--and have the editor ID you as the writer for the assignment. 

**New to the freelance biz? Pitch, sell, research and write your first article by following the simple 10-step process in my popular e-book, Dollars and Deadlines' Guide to Selling your First Article. For a broader, comprehensive look at successful freelancing, check out Writer for Hire: 101 Secrets to Freelance Success (Writer's Digest, 2012). 

Dear Writer: Proving Yourself as a New Freelancer

From day one of my freelance career, my focus was on making money--not because I'm greedy, but because I wanted to sustain a successful career and I knew I had to take a businesslike approach to my new career. (If you're a regular reader of my blog or books, you probably know I was an unhappy lawyer for years, and once I ditched that career, I didn't want to have to go back to it.) 

Well, since then I've written dozens of articles for publications like The Writer and Writer's Digest. I realize that many of the articles I wrote even a decade before are still timely today. So here's a "blast from the past" from a column called "Dear Writer," where I used to answer reader questions for The Writer. (This was back in the days before blogs!) Note that the advice I offered more than a decade before is still good advice today! 

Question: How do you convey to a magazine editor that you’re qualified to write a particular article? If you have personal experience with the subject, it seems easy. But what if you’ve conducted research, interviewed people or done other legwork as you put together your query or proposal? Is this enough to qualify yourself as an “expert” in the eyes of an editor? 

Answer: Good question. When starting out, many writers focus on subjects that they have firsthand knowledge of or have personally experienced. In fact, this is a good way to get your foot in the door as a new or relatively inexperienced writer. For example, if you’ve successfully changed careers, you might pitch an article about the steps to take when considering switching jobs. If you’ve managed to save 30 percent of your income—while raising a family—you might use that experience to query an article on simple but effective ways to reduce your expenses. 

That being said, though, it’s probably impossible to have personal knowledge of all of the subjects you may want to write about, but you can still demonstrate that you know more about the topic than the average person. The way you do that is with your query letter, which should let the editor know that you’ve done your homework ahead of time. 

Consider a query for a diet story that starts out with “Americans are overweight. They eat too much and exercise too little” compared with a query that starts off with: “According to recent statistics from the Centers for Disease Control, 55 percent of the U.S. adult population is overweight.” Which query is more compelling? Which proves to the editor that you’ve done some background research?

As you develop the story idea, include relevant facts, statistics or other pieces of information that reveal your knowledge of the subject. Then, in the final paragraph (what I call the “I-am-so-great” paragraph), highlight your qualifications and demonstrate to the editor why you are the best writer for this particular story. 

If you have personal experience with the subject matter, mention that, but if you don’t, emphasize what you’re bringing to the piece—that you’ve already done a lot of background research or have received permission from the person you want to profile to write about him or her. By reminding the editor of these facts, you can convince her that you are an “expert” of sorts—which will help you nail the assignment.    

***Are you a new freelancer? Then check out my new ebook, Dollars and Deadlines' Guide to Selling your First Article, which provides a simple, proven process for getting into print, or Dollars and Deadlines' 10 Essential Freelance Templates.

Blast from the Past--or How *Not* to Query

Yesterday's guest blog post by Sage Cohen on the importance of practice made me think back to early in my freelance career. I thought it would be fun (and maybe a little humiliating) to post one of my first queries so you can see how far I've come (and how you can improve your own query-writing skills with practice as well). For comparison, here's a template that includes one of my recent, much better queries.

My comments are in green.

***

August 8, 1996


Ms. Amy Nebens
Assistant Articles Editor
Bridal Guide
3 East 54th Street
15th Floor
New York, New York 10022-3108 [Yup, I sent it by snail mail...that was what we did back then!]

Dear Ms. Nebens:

Today, more prospective brides and grooms are signing prenuptial agreements. A prenuptial agreement can spell out exactly what will happen to a couple’s property in the event of divorce. With today’s divorce rates and second marriages on the rise, a prenuptial agreement is often worth consideration. [Nothing like bringing up today's divorce rates in a query to a bridal mag. Eeek! But notice my lack of statistics...how many couples are signing prenups? What percentage of the couples getting married consider them? An anecdotal lead here would have been much more effective.]

I am interested in writing a short article for your magazine on the use, legal effect, and advantages and disadvantage of using them. As an attorney and free-lance writer, I am uniquely qualified to present this topic to your readers. I have enclosed a copy of an article on avoiding legal problems during wedding planning which I recently sold to a national bridal magazine to give you an idea of my writing style. [So many things wrong here, or missing. First, my language sounds dorky and stilted. I have said what I plan to cover, but should provide more specifics--like list some of the pros and cons, not just say that I'll address them. I have played up my unique qualifications--see, I was thinking of an ISG even before I knew what it was! But I could have done better, as you'll see below. More importantly, I should not have sent that article to this editor--it was written for one of her competitors! Major rookie mistake that could have gotten me into major trouble with the magazine I wrote it for, plus it shows the editor that I'm a clueless newbie. Not the impression I want to make! I'm cringing reading this.]

I am familiar with the tone and format of Bridal Guide, and believe this article would be a timely addition to your magazine. Please call me to discuss this query at your convenience. [Much better would have been to suggest the appropriate section of the magazine, or to mention a recent article. And asking her to call me? Well, that's not going to happen unless she's interested in the idea. Again, I look like a rookie. And you know what I'm missing here? The fact that I was engaged! Hello, I'm a soon-to-be bride so in addition to my legal experience, I'm uniquely qualified to write this piece...or be considered for others.]

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon. [Bleah. Nothing special here.]

Very truly yours,

Kelly K. James


**Readers, what do you think? Can you see why this query didn't sell? Stay tuned...I think we're going to do some more blasts from the past! :) And if you're a new freelancer who's thinking, "hmm, I think my queries probably stink," check out Ready, Aim, Specialize! which includes a whole chapters of actual first queries from a variety of writers that sold--and why.

5 Tips for Writing about Home and Garden

Homes--in particular, selling them and buying them--have been on my mind of late. After cleaning, decluttering, painting, updating, and staging our little house to perfection, we managed to sell it in just seven days. Then we spent the next five weeks searching for our new home.

We looked at at least twenty houses, and I was amazed by some of what we saw--dirty rooms, cluttered closets, and over-decorated, over-priced monstrosities. We finally found one that will work for us, and in the meantime, I've got a host of story ideas for future articles--and will no doubt have more when we actually move next month.

Whether your home is a showplace or you're simply the king of DIY (do-it-yourself), an interest in décor, gardening, or home repair can net you assignments from the lucrative "shelter" market. In addition to magazines dedicated to the home and garden niche, most general interest publications cover these topics to some degree as well. Articles may explain how to landscape your backyard, remodel a bathroom, or maximize your storage space.

Thanks to the practical appeal and increasing interest in home improvement and maintenance (even as house values continue to drop), these topics are a lucrative area to specialize in, particularly for writers who have experience with decorating, home renovation, or gardening. Use these tips to break into this lucrative area:

• Start with what you know. If you don't have shelter-related clips, begin with subjects you already have hands-on experience with. If you recently remodeled your bathroom, started a container herb garden, or refinanced your condo, look for markets that would be a good match for those ideas--and play them up in your ISG. If you're new to covering shelter-related subjects, start with a relatively simple topic that you have personal experience with. For example, I sold a story on buying your first home to Bridal Guide early in my career; while I didn’t know much about mortgages, I interviewed an experienced Realtor and mortgage broker, and they gave me plenty of information for the story. I also wrote about combining two tastes into one home for Bride's. In both cases, I highlighted my recent experiences of moving in together and buying my first home with my new husband in my query letters.

• Use your background. Consider your work experience as well—if you've sold real estate or are an interior designer, you bring a different perspective to the home topics you'll pitch. Make sure your query includes your relevant qualifications, again in your ISG.

• Stay up on trends. Real estate and home design is a constantly changing field. Pay attention to trends--on the local, regional, and national levels. Is there an increased interest in water gardens? Are more people adding on to their homes rather than moving? Have upscale condominiums become increasingly popular? Look for evidence of trends on a local level; this can provide you with story ideas as well as possible anecdotes and sources for the articles themselves.

• Think visuals. Whether you’re writing a piece about interior design or how to prepare your backyard garden for winter, photos, illustrations, and other art may be an integral part of the story. You may use photos to help sell the story idea, and then sell the photos themselves as well. Because of this, it’s worth it to invest in a good-quality digital camera and take a photography class to learn the basics. And, make sure that if you are selling photos, you retain rights to them so that you resell them in the future.

• Go one step at a time. For a how-to piece, which is essentially a service article, break down the story into simple, understandable steps—and describe them so that someone else can follow your instructions. Make sure to point out any safety precautions—such as telling readers to wear goggles while using a soldering iron. If you're not sure whether you've missed something, ask a friend who has no experience in the subject to read the piece and tell you whether it's clear.

Remember, your life is often the richest source of story ideas. Thinking about the challenges you've had with your own home--whether you rent or own--may turn into saleable story ideas.

The Secret to Getting your First Magazine Assignment

I'll be traveling to Oklahoma City tomorrow for OWFI's annual writer's conference. (Please come up and say hi if you're there!) My first pre-conference session is on "Breaking In: The Basics of Writing for Magazines," which is one of my most popular writing-related programs.

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you know that I advise new freelancers to break in by pitching a story they're uniquely qualified to write. You demonstrate this in your ISG, or "I'm-so-great" paragraph of your query where you highlight your relevant knowledge of/experience with the subject.

And that is a wonderful start. Just don't make the rookie mistake of thinking that your experience is enough to write the piece. I see inexperienced writers do that all the time, and that's a major reason their queries don't sell. This isn't an essay you're writing--it's an article. That means that 95 percent of the time, you're going to do research and conduct interviews to write your piece.

Your personal experience is a great starting point, but it's only the starting point. Let your editor know you "get" it with a killer query that not only highlights your ISG but the types of sources you plan to interview/use to write the piece. Trust me--this strategy lets you avoid a common rookie mistake and boosts your chances of getting your first assignment.

***

Readers, what do you think? If you're new to the biz and in pursuit of your first clip, you'll find 20 queries that sold (including those from newbie freelancers!) in Ready, Aim, Specialize! Create your own Writing Specialty and Make More Money (Kindle edition).

10 Smart Rules of Thumb for Freelancers

In last week's post on how to write better service articles, I mentioned one of my rules of thumb--on how many sources I typically interview for a nonfiction article. (Mine is one or two sources for stories of up to about 500 words; two to three for stories of 500 to 1,000 words; and three to five for 1,500-word stories. While some stories require more sources, I don't want to waste time over-researching a story by interviewing sources who won't make it into the piece.

But I've developed plenty of other rules of thumb over 14+ years of freelancing as well, including:

Reaching word count. My rule of thumb for word count is 10%. That means I'll turn a story in at up to 10% over word count without worrying about it. (Sure, I shoot for as close to word count as possible, and I never turn in story under word count, but that 10% bumper means I don’t fret if a story is running a little long. (And yes, every word counts toward the total, but I don't count headers for sidebars and boxes.)

Writing queries. My query rule of thumb? Every query letter has four parts:

*The lead, which catches the editor's attention;

*The "why-write-it" paragraph which makes the case for the story;

*The "nuts and bolts" paragraph, where I explain how I plan to approach the story, describe what type of sources I'll interview, how long the story will be, and where I think the story belongs in the magazine; and

*The ISG, or I'm-so-great paragraph where I highlight any relevant background/experience or expertise I have in the subject area.

Contacting sources before a pitch. My rule of thumb, also known as the McCaughey Septuplets Rule, is that I contact sources before I pitch a piece if the story turns on their involvement. In other words, if I can't write the piece without their input, I make sure ahead of time that they're willing to be interviewed.

Following up. My rule of thumb is to follow up on queries and LOIs to new-to-me markets in about four weeks; I follow up on queries to my regular markets in two to three weeks.

Pitching new queries. I've already told you the best time to pitch a client. That's why another of my rules of thumb is to always have an "idea in my pocket" ready for when an editor accepts a piece.

Touching base. I focus on building long-term relationships with clients, and one of the ways I do so is by staying on the radar. My rule of thumb is to touch base every two or three months to "check in" or pitch new work.

Putting things in writing. I recently had an email from a fellow freelancer asking me about a publisher I'd worked with. I'd had a less-than-happy relationship with this particular publisher, and wrote her back and told her I'd be happy to talk with her by phone about my experience. My rule of thumb here is to never put something negative in writing--you never know who may end up reading it.

Leaving the house. I try not to, unless I have to. My rule of thumb here? I won't meet with a potential ghostwriting client in person until I know what his or her budget is; otherwise, there's a good chance I'll waste my time.

Calculating my daily nut. Regardless of my annual income goal and how many hours I work, I always have a daily nut, or an amount I have to average to make what I want that each. My rule of thumb is to take my overall income, and divide it by 240 (48 weeks of work, with four weeks off for vacation and "holidays.").

***Readers, what about you? Do you have your own rules of thumb that you find helpful? Feel free to share them here!

And finally, I'm talking to a potential client tomorrow but in the meantime, am still looking for new ghosting clients. Please keep me in mind if you know of someone looking for a talented, experienced ghostwriter/collaborator (especially in the health, fitness, wellness and nutrition fields)--and thank you to Susan for passing my name along to a potential client! If you want to get started in this lucrative field, you'll want to buy Goodbye Byline, Hello Big Bucks: The Writer's Guide to Making Money Ghostwriting and Coauthoring Books (Kindle edition).

A Month of Templates: A Trade Query

I usually prefer to use LOIs, or letter of introduction, when pitching trade magazines. However, in some instances I will send a query instead. Here's one that recently worked for me; my comments about it appear in red:

***

Dear Christine:

As an ACE-certified trainer, you work a variety of clients. Some are new to working out and simply want to get into a healthy exercise groove; others are committed endurance athletes looking for an added edge or a way to round out their training program. But these athletes are also at a higher risk for injuries. Distance runners in particular are susceptible to developing conditions like plantar fasciitis, Morton’s neuroma, and Achilles tendonitis that keep them off the roads. [My lead shows that I already know something about the common injuries athletes are likely suffer. I could included some stats here, too, though--for example, that 4 out of 5 Americans will experience back pain at some point in their lives.]

As a trainer, you can develop a plan to help these clients stay fit even when they can’t perform their exercise of choice. But what about the emotional impact of being unable to run (or bike, or swim)? A study published last year revealed that regular exercisers who experienced forced exercise withdrawal also had increased negative mood and fatigue. Another earlier study found that regular exercisers experienced depressed mood and fatigue in as little as a week without their thrice-weekly workouts. [I'm letting her know I've done my homework, and hopefully making the case for the topic. And note that I'm focusing on what trainers can do because trainers are the readers of the publication, not the clients themselves.]

“Buzz-Killed: Helping Clients Deal with Exercise Withdrawal” will explain the link between regular exercise and elevated mood and decreased anxiety, and more importantly, help regular exercisers manage the emotional changes that can occur during a forced layoff. I plan to interview sports psychologists like Jack Lesyk, Ph.D., director of the Ohio Center for Sport Psychology for this piece, as well as ACE-certified trainers who have trained athletes dealing with time-off due to injuries; I’ll also report on recent research in this area. A possible sidebar will include a list of emotional symptoms severe enough to warrant your client (or yourself) talking to a mental health professional. [I've provided a working title, described how I plan to approach this piece, and listed the types of experts I plan to interview. (And I did use Lesyk and three ACE-certified trainers for the story.) I've promised to report on recent research because I know this magazine cites sources, research studies, etc. And I've suggested a sidebar, giving the editor a "package" instead of a story.]

Interested in this story as a feature for ACE Certified News? I estimate 1,000 words for this piece, but that’s flexible depending on your needs. In addition to being an ACE-certified personal trainer, I’ve been a freelance journalist for 12+ years, and have written for more than 50 national magazines including Runner’s World, Redbook, Health, Self, Fitness, Shape, and Chicago Athlete. As a runner of 20+ years who has faced injuries and forced time off, I believe my recent experience will help bring a unique perspective to this piece (for example, I found that cross-training helps me cope, but doesn’t produce the same “buzz” as a run), and hope you’ll find it’s appropriate for a future issue of your magazine. [I have to say that I love my ISG; my background and personal experience make me the perfect writer for this piece, right? The editor sure thought so!]

Christine, please let me know if you have any questions about this story idea or would like to see clips of my work; otherwise, I’ll follow up on it in a few weeks. Many thanks for your time, and I hope we’ll have the chance to work together soon. [This is my standard closing language. Note that I tell her I'll follow up soon.]

All best,

Kelly James-Enger

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Readers, what about you? Do you prefer LOIs or queries when pitching trade or custom magazines, or do (like me) use both approaches?