10 Reasons Why Your Book Didn't Sell

I've sold books to traditional publishers, both big and small, under my own byline and as a ghostwriter and coauthor. At the moment, I'm waiting on a contract from a publisher for one of my own titles and my agent is shopping a book for one of my ghosting clients. While my client has a great idea, a compelling proposal (hey, I wrote it!), and a strong platform, the book hasn't sold yet. It's a lesson in how publishing works today.

Here are 10 actual reasons why some of the big publishers have said no to this book--and why they may say no to yours as well:

• "Great idea but too narrow of a focus for us."
• "Too much competition in the category."
• "Despite the need for the book, too hard to reach the target audience."
• "Not enough of an expansive platform for us to break the book out of a crowded category."
• "Not right for our house."
• "With all the books on the market in this category, I don't have the confidence or vision to champion this one."
• "It sounds great, but we've struggled a great deal with books on this topic. As much as I'd like to consider this, I know it would be very difficult for us."
• "Too small [audience] for me."
• "I'm going to pass--I don't feel strongly enough about it."
• "Overlaps in different ways with other books on our list."

Note the variety of responses, many of which would be impossible for my client and me to predict--at least until we pitched the book. But I'm not discouraged yet--a number of publishers have expressed interest and are considering the proposal now. For every "no" we get, I remind myself that it only takes one "yes" to get a book deal. I think we will get a yes--and I'll let you know when we do so.

Readers, what about you? If you've pitched a book to traditional publishers and it didn't sell, what reason(s) were you given? I'd love to hear them here.

Query Critique Week: YA Series Pitch

Today's query critique is for a YA series; it's aimed at an editor or agent. My comments appear in blue:

I am writing to query your interest in my Middle-Grade series, BIG SISTER BABYSITTER. I have read your bio in CWIM and thought my book might suit your representation style. [It's good to open with a "why I'm pitching you" but I'd like to see you mention specific books or series that the writer's series is similar to. Also, the wording a bit awkward--.e.g "suit your reprentation style." Why not just say "you may be interested in repping/publishing my book"?]

One day on a peaceful island Lake Ashley Payton, (also known as LA) hears some life changing news that rattles her world. “I am going to be a WHAT?!” she wails in fear of the worst. LA captures her every moment making a video diary, while she curiously learns the process of human development and uses Bible verses to help her through the emotional struggles. The true adventure of her blended family is just beginning when LA becomes a big sister and something happens that teaches her many lessons about love. [The language is a bit over-the-top, and I'm a little confused about the "true adventure". If this is fiction, it's not a true adventure. Also, certain words like "curiously" jump out at me. I'd rework this paragraph a bit, and include another line or two about LA so we know more about her as a character/person.]


BIG SISTER BABYSITTER is a 29,000-word middle-grade entertaining series written for fun, curious and youthful girls wanting to learn more about Christianity, human development and blended families. [Again, "fun, curious and youthful" doesn't work for me. I'd rework this sentence; also, is this one book which is 29,000 words or a series of books? It's unclear. Also, get rid of "human development." Why not say something like, "written for middle-school-aged girls dealing with issues of identity and families, especially those in blended families."]

This is my first middle-grade book. BIG SISTER BABYSITTER has been inspired by my own personal life growing up and my adoring husband and three amazing children. In this story captures the true voice of a youthful girl in a blended family. It is distinct because its’ humorous character learns in a Christian why what every little girl wonder’s about, but no one will talk about. [Again, a few words threw me off, like "adoring" and "amazing." It's fine to say that it's inspired by your life, but I'd focus more here on your platform/ability to sell the book. That's what editors/agents care about these days. A few lines about your connections/ability to market the book will make a big difference. Also, there are are some mistakes/typos in this paragraph, which is a turnoff.]

This is a simultaneous submission. Thank you for your time and consideration. [Good; you always want to let agents/editors know about simultaneous submissions.]

Sincerely,

[Overall, this query needs some work before it's ready to send out. Agents/editors don't care what inspired your book; they care about what kind of book it is, who the audience is, and how you'll sell it--in other words, what your platform is. That's what sells books today.]

Stay tuned for at least one more query critique this week!

What you Can Control--and What You Can't

Last week, I spoke on breaking into magazine freelancing at the Bloomingdale Public Library as part of the Inside Writing & Publishing series. One of the things I emphasized to the attendees was to focus on the things about their freelance career that are within their control.

Let me explain. You control how much time you spend writing, how much research you do, how polished your query is, and to a degree, how good your writing is. While some people are blessed with innate talent, writing is also a skill that can be developed and improved over time. Marketing ability—identifying, locating, and pitching potential clients—is another skill that must be learned.

But you have no control over whether an editor will buy your magazine article or whether a publisher will acquire your book. While you can improve the odds by studying the market and writing a compelling, timely query, or by finding a niche for your book and demonstrating that you have a rock-solid platform, selling your work is something of a crap shoot.

That’s why I suggest that you worry about what you can control and forget about what you can’t. Let’s say you have a completed book proposal and you want an agent for it. You can’t force an agent to take you on. But you can make a list of potential agents, determine which would be most likely to acquire your book, and research what clients those agents currently represent—and what types of projects they’re looking for. You can check each agent’s website to learn how he/she likes to be contacted, and follow those directions. You can spend time drafting a targeted query letter that will capture that agent’s attention and make the case for why he/she should acquire your manuscript.

But you can’t make an agent love your book. You can’t even make her read your query. That’s why a fall-back plan—one that has elements within your control—is so important. If you’ve been rejected by your top list of agents, you can create a new goal. Maybe it’s to have queries out to your “second-tier” list by month’s end, to research publishers who often work with unagented writers, or to consider POD publishing. Or maybe you decide to take a closer look at your manuscript to see if you can improve it to make it more marketable.

Get the idea? Forget about what lies beyond your reach, like getting a certain editor to say “yes” to you, and spend your time researching and writing the best query or book proposal you can. That alone will increase your chance of success, regardless of what you’re pitching.

A Month of Templates: A Nonfiction Book Pitch

Welcome back to the month of templates. This one is for those of you with a nonfiction book to pitch. While you'll need a book proposal to actually sell your book, you open the door with a query you send to an agent or editor (if you're contacting publishers directly). Here's one that's included in Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money; my comments are in orange:

Dear Ms. Harper:

I’ve heard good things about you from fellow ASJA member Tina Tessina and am writing to query you about a nonfiction book proposal you may be interested in: [Always open with an "in," if you have one. Otherwise I suggest mentioning a book that the agent or editor has repped or published to let her or him know that you've done your homework. The majority of writers don't even bother!]

Falling in love is the easy part—it’s the day-to-day challenges that really put a relationship to the test. But while maintaining a strong, loving bond is difficult for even the most committed couples, those in long-distance relationships face an even greater challenge. [This is a brief description of the book's concept.]

According to recent statistics, at least 1 million Americans currently have commuter marriages and maintain two separate households. Millions more—including the more than 1,300,000 men and women in the U.S. armed services—face extended time away from each other because of jobs that require frequent travel. And every fall as students leave to attend college and graduate school, hundreds of thousands of dating and engaged couples face the prospect of long-distance love as well. [I've described the audience for the book, using relevant stats. Remember, you have to have an audience of eager readers who will buy your book!]

Any couple faced with a long-distance relationship faces a multitude of concerns. Will distance threaten their relationship? How will they maintain intimacy? What kind of financial burden will it cause? How will it affect the couple’s future? Is infidelity more likely? What if children are involved? How do they know if this is the right decision? How will they cope with the inevitable stress of being apart? [This gives an idea of the kinds of issues my readers face.]

My book, Make the Heart Grow Fonder: How to Survive—and Thrive in—Your Long-Distance Relationship, will answer all of the questions and concerns that these couples face. Heart will include the experiences of hundreds of long-distance relationship “veterans” as well as expert advice from psychologists and relationship experts. The book will also feature quizzes and activities for couples to use to determine whether a long-distance relationship is a healthy option for their relationship as well as ways to cope with loneliness and separation, tips on dealing with the financial burden these relationships can cause, and advice for parents who want to maintain a close relationship with their children regardless of physical distance. Heart will also look at the reasons for the growing trend in long-distance relationships and report on recent research on the factors that influence the success and stability of such relationships. [More detail about the book and what it will include.]

This down-to-earth, anecdote-filled book will be both a source of strength and encouragement as well as a wealth of practical information for the millions of people facing this increasingly common challenge. As a fulltime journalist and a veteran of three long-distance relationships, I can bring a unique perspective to this timely subject. [Here's where I fumble the ball a bit. Yes, I'm uniquelyl qualified, but I should have mentioned that I'd already written hundreds of articles for national magazines--evidence of my "platform."]

I hope you’ll be interested reviewing my book proposal for Heart—please let me know if I may send it to you immediately. Thank you very much for your time; I look forward to hearing from you soon. [Pretty typical close.]

Very truly yours,
Kelly James-Enger

***
While this book didn't end up selling, this pitch letter did get me my first agent. You can use a similar format to approach an agent or editor with your own nonfiction book idea. Just make sure you have your book proposal ready to go first...in a future post, I'll talk more about teh elements of a successful one.

Query Critique #4: Memoir Pitch for an Agent

Hi, readers! It's day four of Query Critique Week, and I hope you're finding it helpful. Today's query is from a writer looking for an agent for her memoir. As usual, my comments are in blue.

Dear Ms. Alspaugh,

I read about you in Writer’s Digest, and then wandered through a delightful interview with you on Novelists, Inc Blog by BlogMistress. I liked how you identified as an agent that would be approachable to your clients and that you were looking for writers “who love to write and who can’t not write. Writers who look forward to the promotion process and who have lots of great ideas about how to promote themselves and their work, writers who think about not just writing books, but articles, short stories, blogs, and more.” [I like that the writer has shown that she's done some research on the agent, but it's not necessary to quote so much from the interview. I'd prefer she include a line about books similar to hers (i.e. memoirs) that the agent has repped; this shows an additional level of research, and that the agent is more likely to be interested in this particular book. Personally, I don't like the word "wandered" in the first sentence, either, but that's just me.]

I’d enjoy working with you on my memoir, Grief Shadows: Young, Pregnant and Widowed. [Unnecessary...I'd strike this line.]

Three state troopers came to my front door at five o’clock in the morning and told me my husband was dead. He had fallen asleep driving on his way back to the National Guard base on Cape Cod.

I had just seen him four hours before. Smelled him. Kissed him. And told him we were pregnant. And now, all at once, I was a widow.

I was twenty-six years old. [Great opening, great lead. I'm intrigued.]

But how could I be a widow? Widows were old, with white hair and sensible shoes that cushioned their bunions and who waited for people to visit them in assisted living homes. Or maybe they were fifty-five and had lost a spouse to cancer. Someone with grown children. Not pregnant, like I was. Not with a toddler who’d never heard the word death. [Nice writing, and already we're getting a feel for her voice.]

Grief Shadows: Young, Pregnant and Widowed is more than a legacy of memories; it’s a way to reach out and connect to other grieving souls – to let them know they aren’t alone. Though Grief Shadows isn’t a “how-to” book, as a memoir it is a great practical guide for working through one’s grief. It shows those faced with grief what to expect, what is normal in the grief process – which is everything – and how to emerge from the darkness, stronger, wiser, and more whole. [Because I suggested we cut the line about the book being a memoir, I'd refer to it as a memoir here. I like that she's pointing out that it's more than just a memoir, but that may throw some agents. If she's pitching a book that's a blend, she should include some well-known memoirs that have taken a similar approach so the agent will have an idea of what she means. Reading through this paragraph a second time, I think the writer may be overstating her book's promise--I'm not sure it can deliver as a practical guide for working through grief. Typically what makes a great memoir is a great story and great writing...we don't expect a "how-to" takeaway. The writer may want to think about this more.]

I now live in Eugene, OR with my husband and two children. I’m a writer, an urban-homesteader, a book glutton and a dabbler in theater. In recent times I’ve been a massage therapist, a grief counselor, a home-schooler, and a potter. I’ve been published in my local city newspaper, write in two blogs, do monthly readings at a local theater group, and utilize social networking and marketing. [The writer has an interesting life, but the agent isn't likely to care. What she is likely to care about is her platform--how often does she blog? How many followers does she have? Has she been active in grief support groups? Does she speak to groups? Has she been interviewed, and when and were? How *exactly* does she utilize social media and marketing? Any agent is going to want to know how her client is going to SELL the book once it comes out because the publisher will want to know the same thing. She needs to pump up this paragraph...playing up her connections both online and IRL (in real life).]

Thank you for your time, Ms. Alspaugh. I certainly appreciate it and would be happy to send you my completed proposal. I’d enjoy any comments you have for me. [Typically with a memoir, as with fiction, you'll send the completed manuscript because the writing is what sells it. Unless this agent wants a proposal for a memoir, I'd ask if she's interested in seeing the first couple of chapters or the entire ms. And if it's the entire ms, she should mention the word count of the book. I also want to know what time span it covers--she's remarried now, so is this is the first year after her husband's death? The first five years? I feel like I don't know enough about what the book is about to decide whether I want to read it...more detail about the book would be helpful in this query.]

Respectfully yours,



Readers, what do you think? Do you agree? Disagree?