How Diet Mountain Dew Helped me Sell a Story: Another Query That Worked

Hate writing queries and pitches? You're not alone. I get more questions from freelancers about queries (and contracts) than about any other topic. I've found that queries from new writers fail for two primary reasons--they're either too short and lack detail, or they're too long and lack focus. Finding the right balance and giving enough detail so that the editor can say "yes" without going overboard takes time and practice. Having a template always helps! 

I'll be speaking at the Illinois Academy of Nutrition and Dietetic's Spring Assembly on Friday, April 4, 2013. I've been asked to show dietitians how they can write about diet and nutrition--and get paid for it--and as part of that, I'll be emphasizing the importance of a strong query. Here's a query that worked for me that I'll be sharing with my audience, with my comments in blue:   

Dear Ross:

Your eyes don't even open until after your second cup of coffee? No sweat, right? Think again. If you're hooked on Red Bull, Redline, or just the ever-popular joe, your caffeine addiction may be hurting your health. Research presented last fall at the American College of Emergency Physicians' annual meeting found that over three years, more than 250 people reported symptoms of caffeine abuse to a Chicago poison control center. Thirty-one were hospitalized from medical complications due to caffeine intake. Other studies have found that caffeine intake increases the level of cortisol and other stress hormones. [I like this lead. It's timely, mentioning the recent research, and shows that I've done some background reporting to write this query.]  

Yet athletes have long realized that caffeine has performance-boosting effects, and a slew of studies support it. In the last year alone, published research found that caffeine boosts speed during short-term, high-intensity exercise and the amount of weight (for a 1-rep max) you can lift during a bench press trial. And a survey of 140 elite athletes competing in the Ironman Triathalon World Championships found that 9 in 10 planned to use caffeine-containing substances before or during the competition. [Where did this research come from? I'd just finished a piece on using caffeine for athletic performance for a fitness magazine. I include it here to show the editor that I'm already informed about this topic.]

If you're competing in a 5K or want a lift before a demanding workout, how much caffeine should you take for optimal performance? And how do you determine your "safe" upper limit for caffeine consumption? In other words, how much caffeine is just right? [Here's the question that my article will answer, and I believe that readers of this publication--in the case, The Chicago Tribune--will want to know that answer! My editor agreed, and assigned the piece.] 

“The Caffeine Conundrum: Performance Boost or Health Risk?” will address this issue, describing the growing problem of caffeine abuse and its related health dangers. It will also describe caffeine's fitness-related benefits, and help readers determine how much caffeine is right for them, depending on their fitness goals, lifestyles, and other factors. I plan to interview experts such as Danielle McCarthy, MD, at Northwestern University (lead presenter of the ACEP caffeine abuse study) for this story; a possible sidebar will include a sidebar of caffeine-containing foods and beverages, with the amount of caffeine each contains. While I estimate 1,000 words for this piece, that's flexible depending on your needs. [I've provided a working title, and suggested possible experts and a sidebar. I've also described what my article will include.]

Ross, I hope you'll find this important topic a good fit for your "Health" section of Q. I think the popularity of caffeinated drinks and the fitness aspect of this subject make it a great fit for your readers, and hope you'll agree that it's a topic worth exploring. I've been a fulltime freelancer for the last decade; my work has also appeared in magazines including Redbook, Self, Health, Continental, Fitness, Woman's Day, and Shape. (And as a Diet Mountain Dew addict, I think I can bring a unique perspective to this story!) [This is what I call the ISG, or I'm-so-great. Play up your background, experience, even your caffeine addiction if it will help you sell a story!] 

Let me know if you have any questions about this pitch, and I'll be in touch soon with another story idea as well. 

All my best,

Kelly


I think it's clear why this pitch sold. Yes, the query is a little long--usually my queries are just four paragraphs--but I wanted to show the depth of my knowledge of this subject. Do the same with your pitches, and you'll boost your chances of getting a sale. 

**Want to see more queries that sold, and why? Check out my two latest books from Improvise Press: 

• Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, Second Edition
• Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets

 

The Power of the Template

I've been writing this blog for more than four years now, and its stats tell me what topics and which posts garner the most hits. Out of the top 10 posts of all time, four out of ten are templates, or samples. One is a critiqued pitch for a memoir; one is a letter of introduction, or LOI; another is a query; and the last is a query which I critiqued for a reader. 

Why are these posts so popular? Because they give readers a guide to follow. It's much easier (and faster) to follow someone else's model than to create your own query or letter of introduction from scratch. It's more effective, too. Successful freelancers have developed their own templates that they then customize, depending on the market or type of work they're pitching. 

I have several that I use: 

• One for ghostwriting projects; 
• One for speaking gigs;
• One for content marketing and custom publishing work; and 
• One for reprint markets. 

The more types of work you do, the more templates you should have on your own hard drive. Remember, though, that the template is only the starting point. It's how you customize it for the market you're pursuing that is likely to help you get the gig. 

**I know how important templates and examples are, which is why I include everything from queries to invoices to contracts to "pay-or-die" letters in my books for freelancers like Six-Figure Freelancing, Second Edition. 

And my latest book, Goodbye Byline, Hello Big Bucks: Make Money Ghostwriting Books, Articles, Blogs, and More, Second Edition (Kindle), includes templates of LOIs that content marketing writers and ghostwriters use, along with sample contracts, nondisclosure agreements, and bids. Don't have a Kindle? Download it here.
 

Query Critique #2: And ConCon is Only a Month Away!

Welcome back, readers! We return to the query critique today with this submission; my comments appear in brackets in blue. 

Dear Barbara,

As a desk jockey sitting in front of the computer or in meetings all day, are you concerned about the impact of all that sitting? Are you aware of the recent studies linking sitting to an increased risk for diabetes and heart disease?  I am too. When I transitioned from being an active classroom teacher to work-from-home writer, I experienced a weight gain immediately. Because of my time flexibility, I joined a gym. However, even that may not mitigate the hours spent sitting at a desk. What about busy working mothers who find it next to impossible to squeeze time in for exercise before or after work? However, experts in workplace fitness have found ways to incorporate exercise into the typical office work day. Interested in knowing more? [I like this lead but it's a little long--I'd tighten it a bit; maybe focus on the first person anecdote and then talk about busy working mothers (the readers of this publication) in the next paragraph.] 

Two recent studies illustrate the staggering effects of a mostly sedentary lifestyle. An Australian study concluded that “an adult who spends an average of six hours a day watching TV over the course of a lifetime can expect to live 4.8 years fewer than a person who does not watch TV.” A 2012 report found that the average adult spend 50-70 percent of their lives sitting. This puts them at much increased risk for diabetes and cardiovascular disease, even if they exercise. [Explain the link between the last two sentences--it's not clear. And what is the increased risk? How much? Quantify, please. This info could also be worked into the lead instead, although I would focus on the second study, which specifically addresses the link between sitting and heart disease.] 

As fast as the scientific community reported the problems, researchers, businesses, and health practitioners responded. [I would continue with what the solutions are, and then talk about word length and working title in a bit.] My 1,500-word feature, “Taking a Stand for Workplace Fitness,” will examine the ingenious solutions to being tied to your chair during your workday. I will interview Dr. Cindy Wolff, Executive Director of the Center for Nutrition and Activity Promotion at Chico State University in California, about how she and her staff have incorporated under-desk exercise bicycles, stand-up phone calls, and walking meetings into her office’s routines [And? What's been the result? Increased productivity? Weight loss? Happier staff? What? Include.] I’ll talk to Marchfield Clinic, Wisconsin, executive assistant Pam Gotto about her experiences with an adjustable desk. She can sit or stand while she works, depending on the task and her energy level. [Again, tell us a little bit more about her experience.] I’ll also give first person reports of my attempts to incorporate these some of these techniques into my work day. I wrote this standing up. [I like this first-person anecdote here and would like to know more about how you're working while standing; again, I would include a line or two about how long you've been doing it, benefits, etc.] Dr. Wolff has agreed to offer photos from her office. A sidebar will illustrate various options for desk workouts, including desk/treadmill combinations. [I would rephrase this to say something like, "If you like, I can provide photos to accompany this story; a possible sidebar will illustrate..." I think the writer should also talk about how much these desk treadmills/bikes cost. How expensive are they? Can you build one yourself, etc?] 

As the author of six YA nonfiction books, I have ample experience explaining scientific and technical concepts to a non-technical audience. My editors at Rosen Publishing have complimented me on my professionalism and responsiveness. Clips from my books Top 10 Tips for Enjoying Success in School and Get Smart with Your Money: Internship Smarts are attached (yes, I can provide articles on those topics as well!) [Nice. The writer doesn't have typical clips, but she's made up for it and "dance with who brung her," so to speak to pump up her ISG.] I have been a working mom for over 25 years, always looking for ways to balance career, parenting, and health. All of us who sit for a living can benefit from knowledge of the detrimental effects of this lifestyle and practical ways to counteract the effects. [Good, though I would still like to see that magic language, "based on my personal experience, I believe I can bring a unique perspective to this subject" or something like that. Also tell me what section of the mag it belongs in to demonstrate familiarity with your target market. Finally, I think 1,500 words is a little long for this subject; I'd pitch it as a shorter piece, maybe 800-1000 words or so.] I look forward to your response to this timely and important topic.

[Readers, what do you think? Agree with my critique? I welcome your comments below.]  

Readers, do you do content marketing? Would you like to? Check out ASJA's ConCon conference here in Chicago November 7-8, 2013 at Columbia College. It's for writers who are new to this niche--and those who already do content marketing and want to make even more money doing so. I hope to see you there! 

And as usual, I remind you about my books which are invaluable to both newbie and experienced freelancers: Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets and Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, Second Edition. Prefer a print copy? Use the coupon code IMPROVISEPRESS (all caps,no spaces) for 20 percent off when you order directly through ImprovisePress.com. 

Query Critique #1: Feast on Truffles

Hi, gang! Thanks to those readers who submitted queries for the query critique; the first one is an travel-related pitch. It appears below, with my comments in blue: 

Dear Domini,

Thin verging on scrawny, with irregular cow-like black spots adorning his frail frame, the dog didn’t look much like a creature capable of bringing in thousands of dollars of merchandise per day. “I actually left my best dog at home,” our nature guide and truffle hunter explained. “You can’t do a staged hunt with her. She smells that I’ve already touched the truffles before burying them, and she’s not interested.” [Love this lead. Strong description and definitely catches my attention. I would like to know the name of the nature guide, though.]

In the foothills of the Apennine Mountains that connect Tuscany, Umbria, and Le Marche, truffles are big business. At the truffle exchange – like the diamond or stock exchange for these mysterious mycetes – fist-sized white truffles fetch $6,000 before being broken down and sold to restaurants at triple mark-up. [Nice details here; I'd like to know a little more about why the truffles are so in demand and expensive, for someone who's not that familiar with them.]

In a truffle-centric travel piece, I’ll follow these famous fungi from the first fruitful forage of the season to the wholesale marketplace to the aficionado’s plate. The hills of Le Marche are one of the few places in the world besides Alba in Piedmont where the precious white truffle grows. [Great detail to know.] Besides restaurants happy to shave another ounce or two of truffles on your risotto free of charge, [this clause reads a little awkward to me] [Mercatello sul Metauro, the nearest town, mixes the Renaissance and modern hospitality in a way you can no longer find in touristy Tuscany. [Good selling point for a magazine that covers travel--something new and different.] Noble families open up their families’ Renaissance palaces and network of social connections to visitors, the abbey produces an herb-based indigo dye for a local brand of jeans, and artisans hand-throw and -paint pottery using local 16th century techniques to create custom designs for modern homes. [Shows that the writer has done plenty of research but I feel like the story idea is losing a little focus. Is the story more about the truffles or the community?] 

I’m a freelance travel journalist with a degree in Italian culture who has worked for Italy Magazine and covered Italian travel topics for publications on three continents, including USA TODAY, Ambassador, International Living, and Destination I Do. [Nice ISG.] I have photos available to accompany the piece [Great but I'd say, "I can provide photos to accompany the piece," which implies she'll shoot them for the market, not just rely on what she has] and can include an "if you go" sidebar highlighting how to best reach this out-of-the-way destination, accommodations, restaurants, and local attractions. [nice.]

Would you be interested in “Feast on Truffles, Travel Back in Time in Le Marche” for The Globe and Mail? [Suggested word count? Mention of a recent story to show that she's familiar with the market?]

Best regards,

**Readers, I like this query very much. I think I would focus on the truffles aspect a bit more and possibly provide a few more details about the truffle hunting process, etc and how the truffle economy affects the local community, not just talk about the community itself--more of a truffle tie-in if you will. However, overall I think it's a very strong query with a good chance of selling. Readers, what do you think? 

Want to see queries that sold--and why? Check out one of my popular e-books, Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets or Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, Second Edition. Prefer a print copy? Use the coupon code IMPROVISEPRESS (all caps,no spaces) for 20 percent off when you order directly through ImprovisePress.com. 

Power up your Pitches: 13 Fully-Critiqued Queries to Help your Freelance Success

You cannot overstate the importance of the query letter, especially when you're a new freelancer. As you gain experience, you may not have to query as frequently. You may connect with editors through social media, meet them at conferences or other events, or be introduced through another editor or fellow freelancer. Once you've got some clips and clients, you're more of a "known entity" and have a reputation (hopefully a good one) that precedes you.  

But when you're starting off, all you have is about four paragraphs to make an impression, positive or not. The first query you send may not only be your first impression; it may be the only chance you have to catch the attention of an editor or agent. 

Whether you're pitching an article idea to an editor, looking for an agent for your novel, or have a memoir or nonfiction book to sell, you must write a compelling query. That's one reason I put so much emphasis on them when I teach article writing and freelancing workshops, and why I offer query critiques (including the super awesome bonus) occasionally here on the blog. 

Looking at other writers' queries can be instructive as well--you can see what works, what doesn't, and get an idea of approaches that may work for you. Here are a few fully-critiqued article pitches that will help you write better ones:  

• A parenting magazine pitch; 
• A true-life feature pitch (though it could be a service story, as you'll see); 
• A service article pitch; 
• A pitch for a fitness magazine;  
• A general pitch; 
• A pitch for a parenting magazine; and
• A pitch for a profile; 

Have a book to pitch instead? Then take a look at these: 

• A memoir pitch for an agent; 
• A pitch for a novel; 
• A pitch for a YA ("young adult") series; 
• A pitch for a YA novel; 
• A novel query; and 
• A nonfiction book query; 

I hope you find them helpful! Please share this post with other writers! 

**Are you serious about making money as a freelancer? To learn more about how to set yourself apart from other writers, nab more assignments, and create long-lasting relationships with editors and clients, read my latest two books, Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets or Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, Second Edition. For a limited time, you'll get half off both titles when you order directly through ImprovisePress.com and use the discount code CHICKENS.

Want an even better bargain? My series of short-but-loaded-with-info ebooks is priced at $0.99 for a limited time: 

• Dollars and Deadlines' Guide to Selling your First Article;
• Dollars and Deadlines' 10 Essential Freelance Templates; 
• Dollars and Deadlines' 10 Truths Every Writer Who Wants to Get Published Should Know; and 
• Dollars and Deadlines' 10 Most Popular, Proven Ways to Make Money as a Freelance Writer. 

A Surprising Thing about the Super Awesome Bonus

When I started freelancing full-time more than 16 years ago, I not only lacked clips (well, I did have two) and experience. I also had no mentors. No freelancing friends. I didn't even know of someone who freelanced full-time, so I had to rely on books (and I did read a lot on freelancing, writing, self-employment, you name it) and figure out my own path.  

Let me tell you, I wrote some horrible queries. But in all fairness, I had no one to help me get better. I didn't have someone I could reach out to and ask for an honest query critique. I just wrote the best queries I could and hoped. It took me months and dozens and dozens of queries to eventually refine them to more compelling pitches. 

That's one of the reasons I made my "super awesome bonus" offer in Dollars and Deadlines. The book is aimed at brand-new freelancers--those who have never written for publication before but who want to. I walk readers through the process and give them tons of templates and samples, but something was missing. 

I didn't want to only give readers all the information they needed. I wanted to give them a chance for feedback. So I created the bonus. I offered readers a FREE query critique if they followed the directions provided. That way readers would have immediate, specific feedback from a professional writer (um, me) and be able to submit a stronger, more saleable query--and possibly have their first pitch result in an assignment! 

A critique like this is valuable. In fact, I charge $100/hour for this kind of consulting work (and believe me, it's worth it). And yet not one reader has taken me up on this offer! If you're a reader of Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets, send me your query! 

Hey, I've never seen a book author make this kind of offer, I wouldn't have done it if I wasn't serious about it. I want you to succeed as a freelancer. So let me help!  


***My latest special offer for readers continues. I sell more books on Kindle than on any other e-platform, so I'm offering this $0.99 special offer comes in. For a limited time, three of my most popular ebooks on Kindle are priced at only $0.99! 

• Dollars and Deadlines' 10 Most Popular, Proven Ways to Make Money as a Freelance Writer
• Dollars and Deadlines' Guide to Selling Your First Article
• Dollars and Deadlines' 10 Essential Freelance Templates 

And if you're serious about making money from your words, check out my full-length books, Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets and Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, second edition. If you prefer print (like I do), order directly from ImprovisePress.com. Use the discount code, IMPROVISEPRESS (all caps/no breaks) for 20 percent off of your order!

Guest Post: 5 Reasons You May Be Getting Rejections--Thoughts from the Editor's Side of the Desk

Getting rejected and don't know why? Today's post is for you, a guest post from longtime freelance writer, author, editor, and all-around publishing pro, Jennifer Lawler: 

In the course of my career, I’ve been a freelance writer and book author, a magazine editor, a book development editor for nonfiction, and, most recently, an acquisitions editor for fiction. Now that I’m a freelance writer again, I wanted to share some thoughts about why you may be getting rejections instead of the acceptances you’d much rather receive.

1. Quality of the submission. Since editors don’t want to get into a heated debate over your pitch or your manuscript, they’ll just reject a poorly written query with a “not right for us, thanks!”—that is, if they respond at all. The black hole of silence is often what greets submissions that just aren’t up to par. The problem is, perfectly good submissions can also get eaten by the black hole of nonresponse, so how can you tell which is which?

If you’re getting mostly rejections or radio silence, it’s time to ask someone in the business for their opinion. Do this at arm's length—someone who isn’t published in your field can’t really help, and friends and family have too much invest in their relationship with you to be able to give it to you straight. Writers’ groups and online communities can help you understand where you’re not hitting the target.

2. Not a fit. When I acquired for a romance imprint, we got submissions for nonfiction books, children’s books, and the like. It didn’t matter how good they were, I wasn’t going to publish them. What a waste of everyone’s time. This is easy to fix—spend a small amount of time researching the outlet before you pitch!

3. Too similar to something we already have in the lineup. This is especially difficult at magazines that run a lot of information on the same topic. Women’s magazines always want articles on losing weight and saving money. So how is your article going to be different from all the others?

Sometimes there just isn’t much you can do about this problem. I once acquired a novel about a woman who was turned into a black Lab by a witch and not a month later got a submission from another writer about a woman who ... you got it. Now, what are the odds? And even though the second book was different from the first, it was too similar for me to acquire.

There’s not much you can do about this problem except pitchanother outlet. Fortunately, if your work is otherwise solid, the editor will often explain this reason for a turn-down, and then you can know what to do.

4. Coming across as a prima donna or a pain to work with. If your pitch letter comes along with demands (“I expect an answer by Friday”) or you sound otherwise unprofessional (“I’ve never done this before so don’t really know what I’m doing ....”), that’s going to be a ticket to nowhere. Make sure your interactions with editors are friendly but professional.

5. Not being flexible. When I worked at a custom publication, I’d get queries from people who had good writing skills but didn’t quite understand that at a custom publication, the client calls the shots. So I would sometimes respond to a query with, “I like this idea, but we’d need to take this approach,” only to have the writer withdraw the pitch in a huff.

An editor who suggests a different approach is trying to help you succeed. Don’t respond with a knee-jerk reaction. Think about what is being said and recognize that such flexibility is crucial to a successful freelance career.

###

Thanks, Jennifer, for this insightful post! Lawler runs www.BeYourOwnBookDoctor.com and offers classes for fiction and nonfiction writers, including two classes coming in June. If you have questions for her, comment here and I'll ask her to answer them. 
***
Find this blog helpful? How about a whole book's worth of advice? Check out Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, second edition, and Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets. Use the discount code, IMPROVISEPRESS (all caps, no breaks) for 20 percent off of your order.   

For New Freelancers: What's Lead Time? And a Compelling Query

You have an idea. Now it’s time to write a query letter, or query. (Remember that query’s a verb, too. You can write a query, or you can query a publication. Both are legit uses of the word.) The query is the way you introduce yourself to an editor. This one-page letter is likely your only opportunity to make a positive first impression, capture her attention with an idea that will work for her readers, and convince her or him to give you your first assignment. It’s important.

I’ve been using the same basic structure for queries for years, and I know it works. Each query includes four elements:

*The lead. This first paragraph or two should capture the reader’s attention. You don’t need to start your query with an introduction; instead, jump right into your story and write the lead of the article you intend to write. You may use a first-person or third-person anecdote; a recent research breakthrough; a surprising fact; or any other introduction that makes your editor keep reading.

*The why-write-it section. This paragraph gives more detail about the article you’re pitching so that the editor can decide whether it’s right for her readers.

*The nuts-and-bolts section. This paragraph describes how you’ll approach the article. Who do you plan to interview? How long will the article be? What angle will you use? What’s the working title? I always like to suggest the section of the publication I believe the story belongs here. It shows I’m familiar with the market I’m pitching, which helps set me apart from other writers.

*The ISG (for “I’m-So-Great”) paragraph. This is arguably the most important section of the query for an unpublished writer. You’re unknown and unproven, so you want to demonstrate that you’re the perfect person to write this particular story.

So when do you send a query? That depends on the publication's “lead time.” Lead time is the amount of time between when a publication assigns stories and when they actually run. Typically, national consumer magazines have the longest lead times—on average, about six months. Smaller magazines and trade publications tend to have shorter lead times, and online publications have the shortest, which may be only a week or two.

You want to think about lead time when you’re pitching an idea that has some kind of “time peg,” or reason to run the story at a particular time. For example, you’d probably pitch a holiday-themed story to a national woman’s magazine in early summer, and a “get ready for the beach” workout for a spring issue of a men’s fitness magazine in fall or early winter. The publication’s writers’ guidelines may tell you what its lead time is; if there’s any doubt, it’s always better to pitch a story a little early than too late.

In fact, I suggest you always review the market’s writers’ guidelines before you write a query. The guidelines may specify what editors like to see in pitches, and tell you which sections of the publication are written in-house or are otherwise unavailable to freelancers. The guidelines will also tell how to send your query (i.e., via email or regular mail) and may also give you a suggested response time.

Here’s an example of a straightforward query using the above template. I’ve included my comments in blue.

  

Dear Kristin: 

When I launched my fulltime freelance business on January 1, 1997, I did so without any help. I had no journalism background, no clients, no connections in the publishing world, and a portfolio that contained only two clips. I made every mistake possible along the way. I wrote articles and sent them to markets instead of sending queries. I took what editors offered without asking for more money. I signed all-rights contracts without negotiating to make them more writer-friendly. I wrote for markets once instead of trying to develop long-term relationships. The list goes on…and on…and on.

But over time, I started to learn from my mistakes. I looked for ways to work more efficiently. I focused on building relationships with editors, experts, and other writers. I cut back on the amount of time I spent researching stories, which boosted my bottom line. And I discovered ways to set myself apart from all the other writers out there clamoring for editors’ attention. It paid off—along the way, I’ve written hundreds of articles, two novels, three nonfiction books, and hit the six-figure mark as a freelancer. [This is a first-person lead. Do you see how I’m catching the editor’s attention with a “true-life” story and demonstrating that I’m uniquely positioned to write this article?]

Yet I see many writers making the same kinds of mistakes I did early on, which prevent them from reaching their monetary and personal goals. “The Biggest Mistakes Even Smart Writers Make” will describe these kinds of errors, how they affect your productivity, and show ways to overcome them. I’m thinking of breaking the article into five to eight sections (depending on how many mistakes you want me to cover), with practical, doable advice for each type of error. [This paragraph explains how I’ll approach the story, and shows the editor how her readers will benefit from the piece. In retrospect, I could have included a couple of examples of these types of mistakes to further strengthen this section.]

Kristin, are you interested in this topic for your “Work Smarter” section? I estimate 1,500 words for this piece, but that’s flexible depending on your needs. About me: I’ve been a fulltime freelancer for seven years, and wrote an article on reprints for Writer’s Digest last year. My work has also appeared in more than 50 national magazines including Self, Shape, Health, Redbook, Woman’s Day, Continental, The Writer, and Marie Claire, and I’m the author of four books including Ready, Aim, Specialize! Create your own Writing Specialty and Make More Money (The Writer Books, 2003) and the upcoming Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer’s Guide to Making More Money (Random House, February, 2005.) If you like, I’ll be happy to send you clips via fax or snail mail. [Note that I’ve suggested the section of the magazine where I think the story belongs. I’ve also given her a word estimate that is consistent with the writers’ guidelines, and told her a little bit about my background.]

Please let me know if you have any questions about this idea. I believe readers will appreciate and benefit from this story. [Oops! I forgot to thank her for her time. Otherwise, I think this is a great query, and it sold.]

Sincerely,

Kelly James-Enger

Feel free to use this template and my four-paragraph structure to create your own queries. A model will help you create a compelling, professional query that will help you nab assignments. 

**Looking to launch your freelance writing career--or make more money for your words? Check out Improvise Press' first two books: Dollars and Deadlines: Make Money Writing Articles for Print and Online Markets, and Six-Figure Freelancing: The Writer's Guide to Making More Money, Second Edition. You can order them through any bricks-and-mortar or online bookstore, or directly through www.improvisepress.com. Use the discount code, IMPROVISEPRESS (all caps, no breaks) for 20 percent off of your order. 

Can't afford to buy the books right now? Then request them from your local library! And thank you for supporting Improvise Press, and this blog.